So Petrol Prices are hiked again!!! So what!! Its every day routine for poor and frustrated Indian citizen. I lost my sleep yesterday thinking about this.. and all of a sudden ‘Eureka’ it occurred to me that Vijay Uncle (Read Vijay Mallya) should start a Automobile company named ‘Kingfisher Motors’.
For me it makes perfect sense that he should do this…
The most obvious reason to do this is that a liter of Petrol is more expensive than KF Strong. He should invest in research for developing a four wheeler and a two wheeler that can run on pure and unadulterated BEER. May be later improved version can run on Whiskey and Rum.
I can list a thousand points to say that this venture will never fail and will always be profitable. But as I have do to Coding as well so I will keep it short:
Imagine for a second that Vijay Uncle does what I say … World will be a lot better place:
lets see how
1) Alcohol based vehicles have a very low carbon footprint as compared to Fossil fuel. So cleaner Air to breath. Clean Air means better crop of Barley.. which in turns gives better Beer.
2) As Beer can be made by humans at ease, there is an end less supply for beer.
3) His company being the pioneer will be hugely profitable,
4) My Brother from another Mother (Sid), will have something else on his mind than Deeps and will keep him busy for a while.
5) Ailing King Fisher Airline will revive as he will have to pay salaries in cash instead of in kind.
Now lets see what in it for poor and frustrated Indian Citizen:
1) Drink and Drive will be made legal (You save at least a 2000 rupees in Blore per weekend)
2) Instead of a Bar, pubs and Petrol stations we will now have one single station called ‘Re-fuel Station’ This can quench your and the vehicles thirst at once.
3) Suppose you are going on a long drive and your beer got over.. need not worry , Open the dash board and comes out a straw,and start drinking from your vehicle’s fuel tank. or vise versa.. your tank got empty… pour in a bottle of Beer and you are good to go.
4) These ‘Re-fueling’ station will have a Kingfisher Class Attendants (Read KF airline Air Hostesses) to help you re-fuel. So even if you have to wait for hours to get yourself and the vehicle re-fueled, you will not get bored.
5) You don’t have to lie to your Girl Friend, Spouse, Mother, Father for going out to party. You can simply say I am going to Re-fueling station to get Beer.
6) You go to these station and say fill in 40 liters of KF premium. or for Strong people (or vehicles) KF Strong.
The Indian government also makes huge revenues from this:
1) About 40% of the State and Central Govt’s revenue is from Petroleum based products and about 30% from Liquor. So if you combine these two, there is 70% revenue for govt and cherry on the toppings , govt does not have to pay to Arabian countries for Petrol.
2) Our foreign reserve will bloat to a point that we might bail out Greece, Italy, Spain. and force them to produce Beer for us.
3) There will no wars in the world as US will stop attacking petrol producing counties.
4) All this money can be further invested to make more and better tasting beer for both Citizens of India a well as for the Automobile industries.
There are limitless possibilities in using BEER as Fuel.
All hail to the King of Good Times….
Yours truly Beer Drinker…
